God is testing me again

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Yesterday I was a very angry, tear soaked nutcase. I have just had surgery for cancer on my back and I have a very large incision that is still healing. This was my 29th procedure and the third this year. That did  not include the three pieces they removed for biopsies. So wed I went to my family Dr for few problems I am having due to the surgery. Having to lay on my left side for five weeks as the incision was on my right side was so very painful. I had just last year had surgery on my left shoulder for a rotator cuff tear.  I had a bad fall. At the same time I tore the meniscus in my right knee and the rotator cuff in my left shoulder. At least I tell people I was well balanced no favoritism.

So you will ask,”Why not lay on your back or stomach?” I will answer that. “I have has several back surgeries that make laying on my back or stomach very painful. I can only lay on my sides.

Now back to my Drs appointment. I was complaining about my left leg being numb or having a horrible burning sensation all the time. Also the fact my stomach was so very swollen and painful. After explaining the leg issue was due to my back being a mess and pressure on the nerve. The Dr explained that some of the pressure would be released now that my incision was healing and I could lay on the right side for awhile. Ok, so I could handle that. So now I wanted him to look at my swollen painful abdoman. I was hearing all the reasons I should have the swelling. The fact I only have half of my thyroid as the other was removed because it was cancerous, and the half I have is not working up to par. He explained how the many years of medication caused my organs to swell and the large hiatal hernia added to the swelling. I told him I knew all of that but why the pain? The deep internal pain.

After further examination and as he was helping me up off the exam table he stopped and very surprised said.”You have a large abdominal hernia!” It was not visable until I tightened my stomach musles. He went on to tell me the other pain I was having was probably due to ovarian cancer. OMG! Tearfully and in shock I asked what we were going to do? I immediately added, “But I had a hysterectomy 40 years ago.”

He nodded his head as he explained,”But they left you with one ovary.”

I could hardly breath. How could this be? Almost in a whisper I asked . “What now?”

Well he said we will start with tests ASAP and we will see you in a week. He then asked if I liked the Drs at the cancer clinic I just went to. Stunned I nodded my head yes. His next words floored me he said. “I was expecting the next cancer would be found in your breast as there is so much in your family.”

Shaking I said.”I guess the other two spots I need you to look at will have to wait right?”

“Yes.” He said.

I reach up and touched the one on my face and the one on my arm, thinking how unimprotant these little ones are.

As I walked out to the van I was asking God,”WHY? Could I not have a breather in between?”

 After some reflection and prayer I think I know why. I think my journey will help someone else. God is testing me again and I pray I will pass with flying colours. I have called upon my guardian Angels and I am asking for all of you to set aside a prayer or two for my upcoming trials. My favourite saying is ,”That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” I am scared and I don’t know if I will be able to handle any more cutting. Soon I will look like a patterned quilt.

If I can help anyone else deal with simular trials I am here for you. Please just ask.

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Posted in Books. 19 Comments »

19 Responses to “God is testing me again”

  1. nyparrot Says:

    Thank you for sharing your story with us, Chez. You go though very hard trying times, and you’re doing it with such a grace and courage, that I feel nothing but admiration for your strength. Hang in there. God Bless!

    Like

    • Chris Says:

      THank you so much you are very kind
      blessings

      Like

      • nyparrot Says:

        Thank you!:)

        Like

  2. catnipoflife Says:

    Chris, as with a person’s earlier reply, I clicked the Like button not because of liking your situation but because of your faith and strength. Your courage is remarkable! Probably one of the best outlets is letting it go here where you can receive comfort form those who care and perhaps have gone through similar situations. Wish we were closer but even across the miles know that I am extending my hand and offering heartfelt prayer. My mom was in and out of the hospital most of her life. The last count I remember on surgery was 26. She was frail and weak when she passed away but it was from a horrendous fall. She was 91.

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    • Chris Says:

      Thank you my friend for your sweet words. I am so sorry your mom had to suffer so. My heart goes out to you. I did not have that relationship with my mom. I had better not say any more just in case you have not yet recieved my book.
      I am so lucky to have friends like you even with the miles I can feel your friendship.I am looking at my 30th surgery so I am working on my fourth cats life lol
      blessings
      Chris

      Like

      • catnipoflife Says:

        Meow! Meow! Pur-r-r-r! That’s a catnip prayer and soothing hug for the evening! The book has not arrived, hopefully tomorrow!

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      • Chris Says:

        puurrrfect

        Like

  3. jessicakovacs Says:

    I will definitely be praying for you!

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    • Chris Says:

      Thank you honey I so appreciate that. I guess Aunt Ann is home now right?
      Hugs Aunt Chris

      Like

  4. Yvonne Hertzberger Says:

    Chris, thank you for sharing this with us. It gives us the opportunity to give back a little. We are in this world together. Be assured you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Like

    • Chris Says:

      Thank you my friend. i hope no one thinks I am a whinner. This was written so anyone out there who feels alone or overwhelmed will know they are not alone. I so appreciate your prayers and your support.
      Hugs Chris

      Like

  5. Ronnie Dauber Says:

    Isaiah 26:3 – “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”

    Like

    • Chris Says:

      Ronnie you said we met for a reason. I believe God brought you into my life to give me strength and to in spirit hold my hand. This post was not complaining it is for those who think why me? I hope I can be their strength.

      hugs and blessings my friend

      Like

  6. Ronnie Dauber Says:

    Chris, you’re in my prayers and I’m trusting God that He will reveal to you some of the things He’s revealed to me. And my doctor also told me that ovarian cancer was the easiest to get rid of – if, in fact, that’s what you have. And that procedure can be done through microscopy instead of an incision. Think positive. Look to the Lord for answers because healing is yours.
    Malachi 4:2 – “But to you who fear My name The Sun of Righteousness shall arise With healing in His wings.”

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    • Chris Says:

      Ronnie it is funny that when I had thyroid cancer that the Dr said if I have to have cancer that is the one to have, They said the same for my malignant skin cancer now your friend says that about ovarian cancer, So what is it lol.
      I am more upset about another surgery the one I just had still hurts.
      Oh well my friend what will be will be as I have asked God to guide me yet one more time. I think the lesson in this is all of my medical problems will help me write the book that will give others believe in our Lord and be strong enought to fight and not give up.
      hugs and blessings to you my friend

      Like

  7. allinthedayofme Says:

    I clicked on like but not because I like what I just read. But because you are trusting God to go through this with you. God is in control even when it doesn’t look like it! I have to keep reminding myself of that fact. Please keep us posted on how things go with you. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

    Like

    • Chris Says:

      THANK YOU MY FRIEND

      Like

  8. Sandra McLeod Humphrey Says:

    Chris, I’ve got you back in my prayers, but how could he tell it was ovarian cancer? The good news is that a friend of mine was diagnosed with Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer about eight months ago and she is well on the road to recovery. Her oncologist actually told her that of all the cancers, ovarian is the easiest to treat these days because of all the medical breakthroughs. Please keep us updated and your attitude is unbelievable–you are so amazing!

    Like

    • Chris Says:

      Sandi when I had thyroid cancer the said that was the best to have, when I had the melinoma they said that was the brst now your friends dr says ovarian is the best . So what ir it? They all require cuting and pain. The herias cannot be fixed without opening up my stomack ams I have already has my appendix oyt and hysteectomy so they should just put in zippers lol.
      your prayers will be grately be appreciated
      BTW aia don’t know how he knows I also wondered.
      hugs

      Like


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