Be independant

Yesterday another author friend and I were discussing the sales of our books. She is on her fifth I on my first. She wanted to know how many of the 130 sold, came from family and friends. I had to think for a moment and do a finger count to give her an answer. Before I did I said, “Why are you asking?”

She said , “I don’t know if my family and friends don’t like my books or if they feel I might do a sales pitch on them if they ask how I am doing. In two years I have only sold 60.” She sighed before saying, “It would be so nice if they would just tell me how proud they are of me. I really don’t care if they buy or not but the support means so much.” She continued with, “I have a really large family and only a few have supported me or my sales and ego would be huge. So does my husband have a large family. I don’t know if they expect me to give them books for free but I can’t afford to do that. I have no problem with a discount though.” Almost tearing up she continued, “But just to avoid the subject hurts. I would like to scream at them – just tell me you are proud of me- that’s all I ask.”

I thought about it for a moment and realized she was right. There are those family members and friends that don’t even mention our work. I wish there was a way to let them know none of them are expected to buy my books or even like them  but a pat on the back for my accomplishments would mean so much. I however reminded her that those of my family and friends who do support me by buying my books or who show their excitement for me, make up for those who do not. Some are so proud they shout it from the rooftops.

 I don’t think any of us write books just to sell to family or friends or we would find ourselves with a ton of left over books. Like my friend said, “Just be proud of us and tell us. That is all we ask.” She sounded so sad as she talked about it.

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Posted in Books. 10 Comments »

10 Responses to “Be independant”

  1. catnipoflife Says:

    Chris, WELCOME BACK! You have been ‘TAGGED’ by catnipoflife. Go to her website (http://catnipoflife.wordpress.com/) for insight into why you have been tagged and what happens next! Have FUN! Hope you enjoy. . .

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    • Chris Says:

      THANK YOU

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  2. successbmine Says:

    Getting known is a lot harder than selling to family I think. But neither is impossible though we cannot put our trust in either. We just have to write away, promote everywhere and be happy when we sell something. 130 sales is pretty good this soon after you released your book, Chris. And with your books in stores you have a much better chance to sell more than just to family. To know there are people out there who don’t even know us yet who enjoy reading our work as much as we enjoy writing it gives you a good feeling, doesn’t it?

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    • Chris Says:

      Hi Diane as of today 155 and I am still not fully recovered yet. Yes you are right we can;t put our trust in anything or anyone but oursel.ves
      hugs

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  3. Yvonne Hertzberger Says:

    The same thing happened to me. Some family members were wonderful. But some really important ones avoided the topic. Even when I asked I could not get a small “congratulations”. It hurts a lot but we have to develop thick skins and look for validation from our fans.

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    • Chris Says:

      Yvonne it is amazing how many other authors have the same story. If we were getting married ot having children everyone would congradulate us but writing a book makes them weird.
      hugs

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  4. allinthedayofme Says:

    Thank you for your honesty. This, thank goodness, has not involved me and I hope I’m not guilty with my own family and friends. I don’t think I am. I’ll try to watch it in the future and be an encouragement. Thanks for the reminder.

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    • Chris Says:

      I hope no one takes it as a personal slam but for some a wake up call. I know this does not mean you. You have such a watm caring smile.

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  5. stephanieabbottbooks Says:

    Congratulate your friend — she’s a real writer now. What she’s describing is almost universal. Most of us tell ourselves, “A prophet is never recognized in his own country.” That’s why I laugh when those who still mock self-publishing say, “Only friends and family will buy your book.” Um … no, they won’t. You’re far better off soliciting strangers. At least until a book “hits.” Then, I promise, your friends and family become interested. 🙂

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    • Chris Says:

      Thank you so much and I will tell my friend. You are so right we cannot depend on family I found that out as well but there are the few who make up for the rst . One sister in law bought 6 of my books full price amd refused a discount. bless her.
      You are correct about getting known then they will care but the question is will I? lol

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