I am sitting here this morning a little calmer than yesterday and the day before. Why you ask? Well to answer you I need to pour myself another coffee and take a deep breath. I have done a lot of things in my 67 years. Some have been run of the mill, some satisfying, others made me feel good and some not so perfect. The feelings for all of these things were varied and in each of their own way brought with them some type of feeling. But nothing and I mean nothing has brought on so many different feelings as when I finally published my book.
I listed the feelings I had on a slip of paper when they came over me like a huge wave. There was relief for finally getting the book finished, gratitude to all of those who helped me along the way, tears for the painful memories that were stirred up while writing, laughter for the memories of those silly or dumb things I did or saw, smiles for the moments of just the good times, anger towards the injustices or against those who were hurtful, frustration on having to do it over and over again making sure all was edited and worded properly. Then there was the thankfulness to family who bared with me, confusion when thing did not make sense once on paper, embarrassment when someone found blatant mistakes and attitude when I thought they were wrong. self-doubt reared its ugly head when I questioned the sanity of even starting writing this book. sometimes irritation wiggled its way in when I wanted to get something written and my help was needed by someone else. Towards the end relief made its way in as I could see a light at he end of the tunnel. Then the big one – satisfaction when I finally got everything published and I could see it in print right before my eyes, but it did not end there. Fear slid it’s self into the picture and after that was shock. I say shock because within two hours I sold five copies. Then there was disappointment this morning when the cover for my book was missing from the Kindle store but after all was said and done and I was able to think about it clearly, I had a wonderful sense of accomplishment and at that moment I said a quiet prayer thanking God for sending me all his Angels that walked with me holding me by the hand every step of the way.
I do not know if it is proper to list those who aided in the process but I will use first names only and I thank you all
Ron, David, Courtney, Betsy, Brooke, Amit, Christine, Terry, Douglas, Shandra, Ronnie and all my customers and employers for without them I could not write stories.
I will leave you this morning with one last disturbing vision and that is of this 67 year old disabled lady jumping up and down with joy. Now if that does not bring you nightmares nothing will. lol